The write stuff

No, it's not the perfect job - I have to get up early because it's a long drive, if possible they have even less of a social outlet than CLS, and it's never easy learning new systems especially one's as complex as CMS. But all that aside, I'm still happy to be working for Crawford Adjusters. They seem really invested in me - like they think I'm amazing or something. Not only that but my supervisor is an absolute doll - she's so sweet and caring. Sure my office could use a little sprucing up and personalizing but it's big and it's mine! The IT team set up my computer today and they actually knew what they were doing - even though they're located in Toronto! No more helpess desk for me! Everyone at the office seems very much aware of the fact that I'm being taken under the managers wing to be trained as an adjuster and so it feels like I'm heading somewhere. I was afraid it might be a bit lonely since everyone always seems so busy (and ...

Tickets are now available for our November 26 show! $15 will get you in the door and some delicious dessert. Cash bar is provided by the Airdrie Legion. Tickets are limited, so ensure you get yours fast! They can be bought at the legion or through me. Spread the word!

I'm not trying to complain exactly...but my rehearsals for this next play have officially become awkward for me. It's not even necessarily because I need to get in real close with and even kiss a fellow actor but because this fellow actor has seemed to develop something of a crush on me. Usually when I notice this kind of thing happen I do what my sister has aptly labeled the "avoiddance". You know the one - the game those of us who are err "slightly" passive aggressive play when we don't want to face something - especially conflict. I've noticed that this game is much harder to play when your face to face with someone and pressed up against them. Bah! I always thought it would be so cool to have that first stage kiss (I had my first real life kiss when I was 14 with my boyfriend Jason and despite the fact that he turned out to be gay it was actually pretty nice). But no! Instead it's awkward and uncomfortable. The other awkward part about it is ...

Well it's over... It's funny how this whole theater thing works. You put untold time and effort into building something that lasts such a short time. I remember feeling a little sad as I watched the set being torn down after the last show. There was a mixture of relief at haveing accomplished what I wanted to and at having a few evenings to myself again and sadness at no longer having these people that I have become so accustomed to seeing most days in my life - well not as often anyway. Despite the hardships, the long nights, the drama (not related directly to the play), and the fear around whether or not I would be able to perform or would be one of those people who freak out at the last minute - it was really an amazing experience. I wouldn't have done anything differently. I had to overcome a lot of fear and stand up to criticism that would have sent me off crying in the past. I got to learn about myself - that I'm stronger than I thought I was; that I enjoy perfor...

The last month has been a bit of a blur but it has also been a wild ride. I quit my job, finally, as the last post stated and set out on an adventure full of joy and suspense. It was exciting and stressful to job hunt partly because the job market is highly competitive right now and partly because I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do next. I did a few interviews with a couple private healthcare clinics thinking I might fit in with them because of my background at Calgary Labs. I wanted to stay away from public healthcare as it has become increasingly unhealthy over the years and I don't want to be around when the sh*t hits the fan. I was discouraged by the lack of call backs but continued on searching during the day and rehearsing pretty much every night. Finally my Dad stepped in and got me a meeting with a branch manager with Crawford Global Technical Services. He and a few of his coworkers kind of informally interviewed me and then offered me a job a few days later as ...

It can be hard for me to show my emotions sometimes..it's tough when you have the peace loving, lets not rock the boat, or upset people sanguine personality from your Dad constantly fighting with the dramatic, artistic, who cares what people think melancholy personality of your Mom. Basically this means that I have lots of emotions lots of the time and the desire not to frighten others with them. This week has not been a good week for my sanguine side. Emotions have poured past my carefully constructed barriers and flooded all the poor saps within my reach (sorry sweet roomy). Not all of them bad...not by any means. Actually I've been rather bipolar but not in the months of up and months of down kind of way...more like the running around the house laughing and dancing like a crazy person then lying down on the couch and sobbing irrationally. Is it weird that quitting your job can provoke such a dramatic response? Maybe. All I know is that I have never been happier or sadder t...

I've been keeping an eye on Alicia for a long time. It's tough to reach out to someone when they are thousands of km's away but thanks to Facebook and other such technology I can continue to keep some sort of connection with the only neice I've met (my brother has at least 1 girl that I know of that I'll likely never get to meet since she was adopted out). My brother was forcibly removed from the families house when my sister and I were about 7 years old. I'll never forget that day because it might have been the day I died. My Dad had confronted my brother about his bad behaviour and told him that he had to leave before he endangered our family. It was almost dinner time so my sister and I were seated at the dining room table and my Mom had just brought out the plates. My brother mumbled that he was going to grab the cutlery and my Dad saw him reach for a large knife. My Dad tackled him to the floor and once in control of him literally tossed him out the...

As a child I spent a lot of time dreaming about the kind of things I would do as an adult. My mind was constantly changing based on my personal interests at the time - vet, criminal profiler, engineer (designing rides for Disney), archaeologist, writer, etc. But one thing I consistently wanted to do throughout my childhood and into High School was act. I always loved the theater and movies and wanted to be a part of the stories. I loved how they created a place where people could face difficult questions, laugh at the absurdity of life, cry with the heros or heroines in their personal struggles, and feel all of the range of emotions in a short period of time. Like a good book it was both an escape and a way to face reality. In High School I joined the theater class and was excited to learn more about the art of acting. I also had a friend who's father helped aspiring actors get auditions who said she would ask him to help me out. Things seemed hopeful as they ...

Well it's been just over a week now since I got back from my vacation. When I look back it's clear that outside of the normal bumps of any vacation, it was a very pleasant one! My parents and I flew into Puerto Vallarta at around 4pm on Friday July 1. As we stumbled into the crowded airport and attempted to manuever our way through the throngs of sales people, the kissy faces of a number of Mexican men made me suddenly all too conscious of my "Kiss me I'm Canadian" shirt. Oh well, like anyone would dare try with my Mom nearby (she gives off very protective Mom vibes...I think it may be because she's very protective). Anyway after a run in with a sales man who had briefly convinced us he was our Sun Wing Rep, we managed to slump into a nice air conditioned bus that took us the 20 minutes or so to Riviera Nayarit and up to our Resort "Riu Jalisco". It took me a good part of the trip to realize that the "j" is Jalisco is pronounced "h...

I'm sure we've all been at this place before...I certainly have. Yet knowing that I have been here before does not bring much comfort at this point. Life is about to change...actually it has to change. My gut has been telling me this for awhile and I have been neglecting it. I've been choosing comfort and familiarity over listening to my gut because, though it is often right, I still have a hard time trusting it. Instead of my gut churning with frustration over my need to move on couldn't it just be indigestion? Maybe these nightmares are from watching too many scary movies? No, the huge tornadoes that threaten to kill and destroy everything I cherish, including my own life, in my dreams are not a symptom of eating dill pickles before bed but a symptom of helplessly watching as changes around me threaten to overwhelm me. Work has always been just work for me. It's always been a way to make enough money to live comfortably and pursue other interests, but now it foll...

Well it's that time in Canada again...time to vote for a party who the people trust to run our Gov't whether in a majority or a minority position. Typically I don't really choose sides in politics but I have found Harper's attacks on democracy have polorized my position enough to join the Liberal Party. It was a choice between them and the NDP. I like the NDP but the Liberal party won me over after I read Ignatieffs book, "True Patriot Love". I think that with a little experience Ignatieff could actually become a good Prime Minister - he has the right tools, beliefs, and ethics. Of course so did harper when he first started. I just can't stand by and watch as Canada changes into a Nation that I am no longer proud to call home. Choosing to be a Liberal in Alberta is not easy. It means fighting harder and losing. Having Nenshi elected as our cities mayor gave me a glimpse of hope that Calgarians may be ready for change. I guess we'll see just how ready ...

When I made a goal of taking my health into my own hands and spending money on seeing a naturopath, I promised myself that I would take his or her advise seriously and make any necessary changes - I just didn't realize how hard it would be. I went to the Calgary Centre for Naturopathic Medicine for an initial consultation/medical and was eased by the relaxed and informative environment I found myself in. It was well designed with nice leather chairs in the waiting room and friendly staff but very busy. Apparently lots of others have decided the same thing I have - orthodox medicine does not have all the answers. Of course that does not negate it's importance but it does leave one with ambiguous symptoms like fatigue and headaches searching for more then the usual looks of pity from doctors who no longer know what to precribe for you. Also there's nothing quite like coming precariously close to death to awaken one to the importance of caring for oneself. I sat down across...

So if my facebook profile or my blog comments about not being able to keep a positive attitude about recent changes at work has not already alerted you, I am currently struggling in my work environment. I hadn't really realised just how much it was affecting me until my supervisor scheduled a meeting to discuss my recent tardiness issue (as if there's anything new or recent about it). She went right in to how everyone in Purchasing has been noticing and complaining about my being late, and, instead of responding with any particular excuse or witty remark, I started crying. Like most people I'm not fond of criticism and I do have a tendency to be a little...um ...sensitive at times, but I still didn't see this coming. I think most people view this reaction as a sign of weakness...I'm stressed and not handling it well or depressed and need help but it's really quite different for me. I often cry when I'm angry. I build myself up to confront someone and to sp...

So I have a not-very-secret pleasure that I indulge in on occasion. I love to dance. I often dance around my apartment in the evening or on the weekend as I'm getting dressed (thank goodness I live alone or I might scare someone). My sister also likes to dance and so if my dancing becomes a social activity instead of an alone-in-my-apartment activity it would be because of her. I'm grateful for this because, though I love to dance, I find myself somewhat at odds with the dance scene in Calgary. Sure I like the idea of going Salsa dancing with friends or going to a club for a drink and some dancing, but the reality is very different. What the dance scene in Calgary really turns out to be is a meat market (singles scene). My Mom once asked me why I don't dance wth guys at clubs when I told her about us girls wearing each others wedding rings to try to avoid being hit on. I told her that if a gentleman asked me to dance and knew how to dance I would love that, but wha...

I've been watching a lot of movies lately. Not for any particular reason, I just sometimes find there are so many I haven't seen that I feel like I have to spend some time catching up. Here is the vast wisdom I've pulled from my latest selection. Message from the movie Splice : "You made your monster and now you must...sleep with it?" Message from the movie Legend of the Guardians : "Owls are so cute!" Message to the writer, "Yes we can tell that you borrowed most of your ideas from other fantasy stories but appreciate that you translated them to the world of adorable baby owls" Message from the movie To Paris with Love: "Be wary of people who make their own clothes" "No really that's all I could think..." Message from the movie Inception : "The subconscious is violent...very violent" Oh and as my friend wrote on Martin Luther King Jr. Day on Facebook, "Dear Mr. King, I had a dream - ...

I've discovered that there is something worse than pain...self induced pain. Also that there is something worse than self induced pain - waiting to hear back from the bank to find out whether or not you are approved for a loan to pay for self induced pain. Okay, so it's not exactly pain alone - it's neccesity. According to my insurance company it's cosmetic, but I'm pretty sure a back molar will be more functional than aesthetically pleasing. My dentist recommended that I get an implant put in because it lasts 25-30 years and will not destroy other teeth in the process (like a bridge might). She sent my x-rays to a periodontal clinic and after a few days I was set up with them for an initial consultation. I went to the consultation nervous as I have never been a big fan of dentists and I wasn't really sure what to expect. They were very warm and so willing to answer every question. Of course for $250 I would expect at least that at an initial consultation. The...

Last Saturday night I came home from my sister's house around 1am, We had spent the night playing with PJ and watching movies and I was exhausted and ready for bed. I climbed up the two flights of stairs and opened the door to my apartment. Ah heaven! I could see my bed in the near distance beckoning me to warmth and wonderful sleep-induced oblivion. I managed to convince myself to feed my cat and wash up before bed and then climbed into my warm comforter. About 5 minutes later I had read all I was awake enough to read of my book and so I turned comfortably onto my side to go to sleep. The wind blew heavily against my window and so I forced myself up to close the small crack I had opened a few nights before. I crawled back into bed and snuggled gratefully onto my side again preparing for sleep. Just as the world began to fade around me, a loud "bang" rudely pulled me back into my body. I lay silently with my heart beating wildly awaiting the return of the ominous sou...

I'm not sure that 2011 is off to a good start for me...at least not financially. It all started when I decided to make a car appointment last Tuesday to get my Saturn Ion the winterize package at Certiguard. A few hours after dropping it off they called to tell me that it needed some new parts (a new battery, brake cylinder, plug in for the block heater, air filter, and two tires). I begrudgingly told them to go ahead with everything necessary. Though it was very expensive, I was relieved to finally have my startup issue resolved (my car would randomly decide to start or not start) which they claimed should be fixed by the new battery. The next day my car started with ease and the engine was blissfully quiet. I drove out to my dental appointment and was dissapointed to discover that I need to go to a specialist to get bone grafting done before I can get a dental implant put in. This means more time, money, and pain. It's a mild surgical proce...

So, I've been bit again... It's a new year and despite every rational thought and argument against it, I want to travel. This shouldn't seem strange or bad except that I literally cannot afford to travel. Oh cruel fate. I've already made up two or three dream vacations in my head; an historic and island sightseeing tour of Italy and Greece, a luxurious and relaxing trip to either Cancun or Barbados, and a fun and playful road trip down the California Coast with a two night stay at Disneyland! This will likely be my first year having to pay taxes instead of receiving a generous refund cheque and I just found out that my work benefits do not cover my tooth implant. The tooth alone will likely cost me somewhere around $3000. Boourns. Oh well, at least there are always less expensive ways to scratch my itch. I'm thinking maybe a retreat next month. A weekend away to relax and regroup would be good. Also I have been invited out to a friends vacation house in Salmon ...

I was looking through my Churches books and noticed the Lutheran Guide which is a little blue book on Lutheran history, theology, and practice in a fun picture filled guide. I didn't quite expect what followed.  It was nice to see such a humour filled and even slightly irreverant guide to Christian life and spiritual growth in the body of Christ. The top one was especially funny to me as a past Charismatic...I have actually been smacked in the face by someone who was worshipping exuberantly and unaware of the lack of personal space.

My parents spent some time in their basement over Christmas looking through boxes. I'm always weary when my parents start looking through their stuff because that's when they start "passing down" items to me. Often these hand me downs are not exactly useful and so I know the likelihood is that I will end up with a few boxes full of stuff to add to my own collection of stuff. This time the damage was minimal (a 1950's Christmas bell, some vitamins, and a few of my Dad's Dilbert magazines). My Dad told me that now that I work in an office I can really appreciate Dilbert comics. He was right. Hahaha I'm not totally sure why but this bottom one really cracks me up!