I'm not trying to complain exactly...but my rehearsals for this next play have officially become awkward for me. It's not even necessarily because I need to get in real close with and even kiss a fellow actor but because this fellow actor has seemed to develop something of a crush on me. Usually when I notice this kind of thing happen I do what my sister has aptly labeled the "avoiddance". You know the one - the game those of us who are err "slightly" passive aggressive play when we don't want to face something - especially conflict. I've noticed that this game is much harder to play when your face to face with someone and pressed up against them. Bah! I always thought it would be so cool to have that first stage kiss (I had my first real life kiss when I was 14 with my boyfriend Jason and despite the fact that he turned out to be gay it was actually pretty nice). But no! Instead it's awkward and uncomfortable. The other awkward part about it is that I find the actor who my character doesn't like attractive and to be honest I'm almost worse around guys that I do like than guys that I don't. So I'm going up on this tiny stage and trying to put out emotions of annoyance towards the guy I find cute and emotions of longing for the guy I don't like that likes me. Oh cruel fates.
One thing continually bothers me as I read Diana Gabaldon's richly detailed story of Claire Beauchampe, a doctor who innocently walks into a stone formation in Scotland and winds up in 16th century Scotland. Much has happened since this beginning...Claire has married Jamie Fraser the young and impressive Scottish Laird (against her wishes), fallen madly in love with him regardless of a precarious beginning to their relationship, followed him around as they attempt to evade the English, fought with him at the battle of Culloden, been forced back through the stones to safety with their unborn child, raised their child with her ambiguous husband from the future, returned after her child had grown up so that she could find him, made a new life with him in an American Colony, and been surprised by the appearance of her daughter and new son in law in 16th century America. Through their many, often rediculous, adventures there is that one thing that my brain ...
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