I'm not trying to complain exactly...but my rehearsals for this next play have officially become awkward for me. It's not even necessarily because I need to get in real close with and even kiss a fellow actor but because this fellow actor has seemed to develop something of a crush on me. Usually when I notice this kind of thing happen I do what my sister has aptly labeled the "avoiddance". You know the one - the game those of us who are err "slightly" passive aggressive play when we don't want to face something - especially conflict. I've noticed that this game is much harder to play when your face to face with someone and pressed up against them. Bah! I always thought it would be so cool to have that first stage kiss (I had my first real life kiss when I was 14 with my boyfriend Jason and despite the fact that he turned out to be gay it was actually pretty nice). But no! Instead it's awkward and uncomfortable. The other awkward part about it is that I find the actor who my character doesn't like attractive and to be honest I'm almost worse around guys that I do like than guys that I don't. So I'm going up on this tiny stage and trying to put out emotions of annoyance towards the guy I find cute and emotions of longing for the guy I don't like that likes me. Oh cruel fates.
So once again it is that time of year when people reflect back on what they have accomplished in the last year and make plans and goals for the next. I have spent some time looking over the last year and have been very happy with positive changes I have made in my life and tough challenges I have faced. It wasn't an easy year by any means, but it brought many neccessary changes in my life. This year I want to continue that trend and work on one of my weaknesses. Tne biggest weakness I think I need to work on is my lack of consistency. You see I tend to be very good at starting things, often too many things at a time, but I lack the discipline to carry things through. I tell myself I'm going to write down all of my purchases and track my spending...yeah that plan lasts about two days before I toss it. I say I'm going to do my exercises every day...but really it ends up happening very randomly and not nearly as frequently as it should. So this year instead of making a huge...
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