So recently I took a risk by doing what I love in front of others. I have always loved to sing but due to my lack of confidence the only places you'll usually hear me perform are in the shower or in my car. When my singing teacher first asked me if I would consider singing a set during Koi's open mike night I felt a mixture of terror and excitement. I started practising extra hard and was cautiously optimistic that it would turn out to be fun. Unfortunately the day I was supposed to sing also happened to be the day that Jonathan died and so I cancelled. I couldn't see myself up there singing "Stormy Weather" and maintaining any semblance of control over my voice. I was thrilled when I was invited to another open mic night just over a month later. It was nice and slightly unnerving to have my good friends and my sister there to hear me. For some odd reason I find it harder to sing in front of people I know than in front of strangers. Koi ended up being a very warm and welcoming place with supportive staff and a refreshingly artistic atmosphere. Regardless of this I still found myself very nervous and anxious as the time to actually go up and perform approached. By the time it was my turn I had drinken a lot of water and could feel it splooshing around in my tummy along with the butterflies. I walked up there and found to my dismay that my papers would not stay nicely on the stand. Also I made the mistake of dedicating my first song to Jonathan which ended up making it hard not to cry while performing it. Amazingly despite my fear and my almost-meltdown during the first song, I made it through all three songs! It was scary but it was also fun. After I had finished, the sound tech stopped me and told me to come back anytime. I think I might just do that!
So once again it is that time of year when people reflect back on what they have accomplished in the last year and make plans and goals for the next. I have spent some time looking over the last year and have been very happy with positive changes I have made in my life and tough challenges I have faced. It wasn't an easy year by any means, but it brought many neccessary changes in my life. This year I want to continue that trend and work on one of my weaknesses. Tne biggest weakness I think I need to work on is my lack of consistency. You see I tend to be very good at starting things, often too many things at a time, but I lack the discipline to carry things through. I tell myself I'm going to write down all of my purchases and track my spending...yeah that plan lasts about two days before I toss it. I say I'm going to do my exercises every day...but really it ends up happening very randomly and not nearly as frequently as it should. So this year instead of making a huge li
despite all the nervousness - when you remembered to breathe you sounded great! I hope we can do that again sometime. :)
ReplyDeleteDanaya