I always thought I was pretty comfortable with the idea of aging. We all do it, even if our culture tells us we shouldn't. But a few days ago it struck me that my Dad was turning 60 (he actually turned 60 yesterday) and to be honest I kinda freaked. You see, If my Dad is 60 and the average male in North America dies at the age of 70, that brings my dad closer to dying then I'm comfortable with. Granted he could die like anyone else at any time, but getting older is a really good reminder of its immenent arrival. Death is a funny thing in our culture. It's both flaunted in our media as entertainment and hidden from society as a whole in institutions which deal with such things (old folks homes, hospitals, hospices, etc). This leaves many of us with an inorganic and slightly confused perspective on death. My reaction to it is similar to my reaction to air flight. Yes, yes I know its safer than traveling by car, but does that make me any less anxious about flying? No. Similarly knowing that I'll see my loved ones again and that death is hardly the end doesn't make it any easier to swallow in the present. I guess I hope my personal experience of death will be similar to my personal experience of flying...limited and involving being hopped up on happy pills!
I spent some of this weekend thinking about the word redemption and what it means. Not necessarily the religious context of it, but the taking a wrong and making it right idea. I think this stuck with me because I watched a few movies over the weekend in which the themes were about making things right and using your pain to help others. Like everyone I have had some painful things happen to me and have struggled with the anger and despair that often accompanies being hurt. In the book The Shack the author calls his main character's pain (due to the murder of his youngest daughter) "the Great Sadness." This makes sense to me because some of the bad things that can happen in life seem so consuming that they haunt you no matter how hard you try to ignore them. I am often reminded of this fact when something new in my life causes me pain (a conflict. a death, etc). All of a sudden the floodgate of old pain re-opens and I find myself back at the beginning of my pain...
this may be small comfort, but remember that life expectancy is calculated at birth. once he's made it to 60, a man's life expectancy is probably closer to mid-80s.
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