I always thought I was pretty comfortable with the idea of aging. We all do it, even if our culture tells us we shouldn't. But a few days ago it struck me that my Dad was turning 60 (he actually turned 60 yesterday) and to be honest I kinda freaked. You see, If my Dad is 60 and the average male in North America dies at the age of 70, that brings my dad closer to dying then I'm comfortable with. Granted he could die like anyone else at any time, but getting older is a really good reminder of its immenent arrival. Death is a funny thing in our culture. It's both flaunted in our media as entertainment and hidden from society as a whole in institutions which deal with such things (old folks homes, hospitals, hospices, etc). This leaves many of us with an inorganic and slightly confused perspective on death. My reaction to it is similar to my reaction to air flight. Yes, yes I know its safer than traveling by car, but does that make me any less anxious about flying? No. Similarly knowing that I'll see my loved ones again and that death is hardly the end doesn't make it any easier to swallow in the present. I guess I hope my personal experience of death will be similar to my personal experience of flying...limited and involving being hopped up on happy pills!
So I went over to the Harris household for what Laura and I have dubbed a cupcake date! For those of you who don't know who Laura is, she is Jonathon's little sister (refer to the story about Jonathon if you're not sure who Jonathon is). The cupcakes were so fun to make and turned out pretty good! Ever since Jonathon passed away about a year ago his family has kind of adopted me as the closest they'll ever have to a daughter in law. None of us know of course whether things would have worked out between Jonathon and me, but regardless of this fact and their acknowledgement of it, they have welcomed me as one of their own. It makes me happy that I made Jonathon happy for the short time he was in my life. I find myself connecting with his family on so many levels and feeling so at home with them. I have mixed feeling about all of this, but I think Jonathon would be happy that I met his family and continue to spend time with them. I hope I can be something of a comfort ...
this may be small comfort, but remember that life expectancy is calculated at birth. once he's made it to 60, a man's life expectancy is probably closer to mid-80s.
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