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Alicia


I've been keeping an eye on Alicia for a long time. It's tough to reach out to someone when they are thousands of km's away but thanks to Facebook and other such technology I can continue to keep some sort of connection with the only neice I've met (my brother has at least 1 girl that I know of that I'll likely never get to meet since she was adopted out).

My brother was forcibly removed from the families house when my sister and I were about 7 years old. I'll never forget that day because it might have been the day I died. My Dad had confronted my brother about his bad behaviour and told him that he had to leave before he endangered our family. It was almost dinner time so my sister and I were seated at the dining room table and my Mom had just brought out the plates. My brother mumbled that he was going to grab the cutlery and my Dad saw him reach for a large knife. My Dad tackled him to the floor and once in control of him literally tossed him out the door. My sister and I hadn't seen the knife and didn't know about our parent's decision to toss Sean out so this violent scene was scary and confusing.
My brother had been a problem for as long as my young mind could remember. He tortured my sister and I from the time we were born and often came home drunk or high or occasionally covered in blood. My parents were at a loss for how to help or control him so they did what they felt they had to do to protect our family.

Years later when I was around 12 my brother returned from the streets of Calgary desperate for a place to stay with his young pregnant girlfriend. My parents saw some positive changes in him and wanted desperately to help this baby have a better life so they took them in. I was so excited when Alicia was born. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I felt honored to be given the opportunity to bathe, dress, and change this little miracle and liked to pretend I was her Mom when I strolled around our neighbourhood with her. I don't quite remember how old she was when Sean moved her and her mom with him to an apartment in Calgary but it wasn't until years later that they moved to Ottawa. She was such an adorable toddler and grew more smart and beautiful every year. I was sad when they moved far away and took a few opportunities in my early adulthood to fly out and see them.

Things got awkward though when I could no longer maintain a healthy relationship with my brother. I made a tough decision to shut him off fully from relationship with me as did my sister. Its complicated but I still love Alicia (and my Nephew Joshua that I've only met a few times). Joshua is currently out of my reach but Alicia lives with her Mom and her Mom was always nice to Angie and I. Alicia needs family right now...she had something traumatic happen to her recently and needs a good support system to overcome the pain and fear of post traumatic stress. I've tried to be one of those supports for her online but saying hugs and giving someone hugs are two very different things. I talked about going out there to see her but I wasn't sure how that was going to work.

About a week ago my brother in law Isaac talked to her on facebook and invited her out here to stay with them for a week. She asked her Mom and her Mom said yes! My Mom offered to pay for the flight and suddenly the neice I was afraid I might never see again is arriving in Calgary tomorrow! I can't wait to see her all grown up and to connect with her!  

Comments

  1. MichelleAugust 11, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    I'm really excited for you! I hope you have a wonderful visit.

    ReplyDelete

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